Bob Dorr blues note
I'm thinkin' we could all use some laughs. With my half-time/weekend/Iowa Public Radio "pension" in total disarray and The Blue Band finding it difficult to find work for a six piece band in this economic atmosphere (two corporate Xmas parties, who were likely employers, decided to not have a band at their parties this year because of the stock market tumble) It's lookin' like retirement ain't gonna happen any time soon! And that IPR job could be in jeopardy this weekend! It's fundraising time. With new management coming in (again?) I really need the shows to raise some serious $$$. I'll be doing them all live (Fri. 9-11p, Sat. 7-10p, Sun. 6-10p) and hope to hear from you. 1-800-861-800 or iowapublicradio.org I've got a cool little "thank you gift" on Saturday's Backtracks show: a collector's box of THREE Elvis Pez dispensers! (Army Elvis, '68 Comeback Elvis, Vegas Elvis) complete with root beer flavored Pez candies AND a collector's 3-song Elvis CD! There's only 18 of them and it takes a $150 pledge. There's other stuff for other levels of support, but this Pez thing is the coolest, Daddio. Thank you, thankyouverymuch for pledging! In addition to my regular shows, I'll be fundraising some news and talk shows next week, joining Pat Blank for All Things Considered on Thur. 10/23, 4-7p and then joining Al Kern in Iowa City Friday MORNING (10/24) at 8am (yikes!) til 1pm. Fortunately, that's the last day of the on-air campaign. Maye they'll celebrate by having CAKE!...
Many people seem to have been blocked from getting this note (so if you didn't get, be sure and let me know) (huh?) I'm told that if enough people block a note on a server, then those servers just block messages from that sender to all the accounts they serve. This problem seems to have started when I started the "political" notes a few weeks back. It brings back the old hippie saying, "just because you're not paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not after you!" My knowledge of cyber workings is 0. I've been told to remind you to tell your server's spam blocker that it's OK to receive mail from firstname.lastname@example.org...
So now the funny stuff. Longtime Blue Buddy, Rockin' Russell, sent along these laughs. I literally laughed out loud. Thanks Russell , I needed that!
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ? They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It (I love that one!)
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroids
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Subordinate Clauses
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quattro Sinko
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? Frostbite
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Anyone Can Roast Beef
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? Because They Have Big Fingers
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares The Dog
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?! ! The Location Of The Dirt Bag
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver? A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack
22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer!
I don't know when I'll be sending the next note, but you KNOW there's gotta be one more politico note before Nov. 4 (there, I gave ya PLENTY of advance warning) I hope you can stop out to The Screaming Eagle in Waterloo (my favorite new place to play) a week from Saturday, Oct. 25, 9-1. And if yer missing dancing while the Blue Band takes the week off for Public Radio Fundraising, my favorite local band, Checker and the Bluetones plays the "Geezer Gig", at The Hub, 4th & Main, here in Sparkle City, 6-9p TONIGHT (Friday) Hope to see you there before I have to go beg for money...
I'll be talkin to ya on Iowa Public Radio and looking for your pledge! Bob Dorr & The Blue Band